First and foremost, gays and lesbians are not trying to change their sex. They are not men trying to be women, or women trying to be men. They are simply people who happen to have found happiness in marriage with one of their own sex.
Transgendered people OTOH are people who have bought into social gendering so strongly that they believe physical mutilation can change their personality. They think that being a man is significant outside of reproduction, in the same way that zxz obviously does.
No-one can justify to me why it matters whether my secretary is male or female, unless I plan on sleeping with them. Further, no-one has explained why it matters what gender my spouse is, unless we plan on having children.
Believe it or not, there are enough ins on a man and enough outs on a woman to more than make up for whatever difficulties you envision. You forget, the most powerful sexual organ in the human body is the brain.
We are born with innate sexual desire. As we grow, society teaches us that we can only express that desire towards one gender, so we suppress our other attraction to the point that it feels like revulsion. In some people, this process goes “badly wrong” and they wind up fixated on their own gender instead of the opposite. This ‘mistake’ is not reversible since humans lose their flexibility of mind when they become adults.
Some however, remain mostly free of this inhibition. They remain bisexual, and they get a bad name because those who escape one batch of social programming probably escaped others too, making them unpredictable and dangerous by affiliation.
In a monogamous-based society bisexuality is not likely to be maintained. Once you pick a partner, people assume you are only attracted to people of the same gender as your partner. Since this is error is difficult to correct, it becomes accepted and eventually becomes the truth itself. A married woman is not likely to receive offers from other women, nor is she likely to accept those offers even if she would like to. She’s committed now, remember.
Date: 01-19-03 18:40
I am quite glad that you see that you and I DO NOT live in the same world. We walk on the same ground and breathe the same air but rest assured this is all that we share.
I have read your posts and thought much about a response and still the only fitting response that I can think of is “Are you joking?”
I hope this .zinger. was a little more specific and a little less obnoxious.
Date: 01-19-03 19:51
This is something I can accept, respect, and respond.
I am indeed not joking, for a careful examination of the air and soil has lead me to this analysis.
Why you do not share it, you leave open. I am therefore forced to continue to conjecture as I have in previous posts, but I’ll try not to poke fun, as much for your friends’ sake as for yours.
You feel no attraction towards men, and you therefore conclude you are ‘straight’. By common understanding, you are, and I do not seek to argue with you on that.
When you were a child, you loved men, such as you father, your best friend, brothers, etc. This is platonic love, for all childish love is platonic.
When you began to grow up, you found yourself feeling urges and desires that were frightening in their strength and unpredictability. By this point you already knew the appropriate direction for these feelings, though not their strength. You did not wish to feel any attraction towards men, so you probably did not.
Indeed, many people do feel this attraction, and simply lie about it to themselves. I credit you more honesty than that, so you may have simply avoided such feelings.
The question here then, is: are you incapable of such feelings towards men?
A good indication that you are not would be revulsion at even asking the question. If you can look at the issue without any strong emotional response, then your answer is more likely. Keep in mind that sodomy is not the full extent of homosexuality, and there are other milder activities that you even now probably enjoy. Given an open mind and appropriate conditioning, I doubt that your preferences are as fixed as you imagine.
Keep in mind that the great philosophers of the past that you have undoubtedly studied were for a large part homosexual.
Having said all this, I will not have you “turn gay” on me. I do not take responsibility for the havoc and disruption this would have upon your life, nor do I recommend it as a course of action. You are no more likely to find happiness with a man than with a woman, and nothing I have said should lead you to
The most you can take from me is a recommendation for openness towards bisexuality, and even that is only on the condition that you are having difficulty finding a life-partner.